Feb 22, 2011

I recently posted on my Facebook status: (from Romans 2:4) It is the goodness of God that leads us to repentance. So if I let God’s goodness work in me through His Holy Spirit unto others, will others be lead to repentance?

I wanted to throw the question out there to be meditated upon and possibly applied to the reader’s life. Words to a song have been rolling over in my head for a long time now, and it says: Your kindness Lord leads us to repentance. Your favor Lord is our desire. Your beauty Lord makes us stand in silence, for your love is better than life.

I have asked the Holy Spirit to work that kindness, or goodness, through me towards the kids. I can’t talk to the kids like I would want to, but I try and show them grace, and love, and kindness. I am on the last stretch of a one year commitment to Casa de Esperanza and God has blessed me in allowing me to see a difference in the way the kids respond to me.
While I was learning to be around kids by; studying the ones who blazed the trail before me (especially Karen), studying the kids, watching them, learning how to treat them, and work with them on the first two stretches of being here (and I haven’t stopped), there was a lot of rubbing each other the wrong way. The kids seemed angry with me most of the time. I felt irritated and very confused by them. Did I put ‘very’ in there? Cause I really mean Very! My responses to their behavior have evolved from, what I felt to be, harsh to grace and kindness. If I was on the outside looking in at this situation I might be able to word this more accurately. But, seeing how I am on the inside looking out, I pray you will forgive me for sharing only my perspective.
Since this gradual change, I have felt the kids; hugs and tugs, shared laughs and jokes, tickles and kisses, vying for my attention to watch them play and see what they can do. They listen and obey me a little more and respond more positively than they did before.
When the kids misbehave after having been forewarned of the consequence to come if they disobey, Karen and I ask each other the question; Are they just testing their boundaries or do they really not care? We may never learn the answer to that question but…
I have seen repentant hearts, altered behavior, and more attempts to understand. The process may move as slow as molasses but, things are moving forward.
I also have witnessed love and kindness pour out of Karen onto these kids, and I see how they love her and respond to her.
So to answer my own question above, I would have to say… I have a lot to learn. It is not by my might or power, but by the Spirit of God. By experience I would have to say this is mostly true if the person doesn’t willfully turn his heart cold towards God and His goodness. John 8 is brought to mind. It addresses judgement upon another. A woman was caught in adultery and the party surrounding her was ready to cast their stones at her until the grace of God’s words were spoken. Hearts were convicted by each persons conscience and everyone left without throwing the stones at her. Jesus then showed God’s goodness to the woman, whom I believe ran away with a repentant heart.

I write this because too often I see the opposite of kindness and goodness shared among friends, family, enemies, believers and non believers, those who go to church and those who don’t. Whether in Honduras or Russia, Mexico or Iraq, or the United States of America, I see the opposite of kindness and goodness running rampant. It hurts me especially when I see it from those who claim Christ, or if I do it myself. We want to preach the word, but do we want to live the word? After all, we are a written message of Christ, and we will be read by all men. What are men reading?

6 year old Maryuri was throwing rocks at Reina yesterday and calling her names. She apologized to Reina against her will but then she had to pray with her before they could part ways. Maryuri refused to pray with her. When Karen asked why she wouldn’t pray with Reina she answered “Because, I am satan’s child”. She wasn’t given the option to leave Reina and had to stay with her until she prayed. A short time passed. She hung her head, took Reina’s hands and prayed apologies and asked God to help her not throw rocks at Reina and call her names. She then voluntarily hugged Reina and had a smile on her face. They ran off together to play.

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