April Newsletter

April saw a bittersweet beginning with the decision to leave Honduras. I do look forward to all the possibilities of the future. If you please, I will need your continued support through May. I will make my final return to the States on May 24th.

NEW KIDS
Two new kids have come to Casa. They are siblings. The boy, Adonis, is 8 years old. From observance I can tell he is affectionate, as well as defiant, has sticky fingers, and likes to hit people. The girl, Lupe, is 6 years old. She too is affectionate, wants to please, and whines to get her way. I can see both of them improving, given time, love, and attention.

EL SALVADOR
Well… as I mentioned before in a previous letter, I made a bad miscalculation on my number of days in Honduras before I would have to leave again; A seven day miscalculation. Not being able to renew a 30 day stay two times in a row, I was forced to make the decision to leave the country for the allotted time, and return with a 90 day renewal.
I chose El Salvador, made possible by a recently made new law. I chose the beach . Thank you to all my supporters who inadvertently paid for a very relaxing couple of days on the pacific ocean. The all inclusive hotel cost a little less than half of what a plane ticket to the states would have cost. I enjoyed swimming in the ocean, a powerful strong spray of water coming from my shower head, delicious meals I didn’t have to prepare, and many nice long walks during low tide. I was able to find many tiny seashells to bring back to Casa. Some of the kids, especially Josue, seem to love digging through the dirt to find shells. I was able to provide him with more shells to find.
I had a horrible trip there with motion sickness most of the way as I sat on the top deck of a double decker bus losing my breakfast. I was forced into an involuntary fast for the duration of the 10 hour trip.
I did have a scare that made me sit in embers of anger for about 10 minutes. I had to pay $3 dollars to reenter Honduras and was told I had 10 days to go to immigration and renew my stay for another 30 days. This still left me with the 7 extra days I would have to deal with later. As well as having to explain to my supporters why I took a beach vacation with nothing to show for it but incompetent communication abilities of the Honduran government. Not knowing how to face you guys with that news, I prayed to God letting Him know He was going to have to take care of it. There was nothing I could do. After explaining the new law and reason for my trip in the best Spanish I could to the bus attendant and border guard, and quietly seething for 10 minutes, my passport was handed back to me. I searched for the new stamp and the date that would be there for how many days I had left in Honduras. It said 90 days. The bus attendant came up to me shortly after asking what I got. He smiled and told me another American just a few days earlier wasn’t given that. Thank you God for your provision and protection! I smiled at the new friend I had made on the bus ride, his concerned look relaxing at the news.

FIRES
Fires are everywhere. We have had fires come real close to the new house of one of our employees, and have seen the smoke billowing and listened to the flames burning their way all around us. On my trip to and from El Salvador, it was as if the whole of the country was being burned. When I got back, I asked someone if these fires were controlled fires like the ones in the sugar cane fields. The person said no. People burn their trash like usual, a spark flies out and sets fire to the area around it. Even after several rains, the smoke and fire still keep going.

KAREN LEAVING
Karen left with her husband Dorian to the states for a month long furlough. I pray they have a restful, relaxing, and wonderful month.
They are very much missed by myself and the kids. The kids have been showing there lose by not listening and acting out more then I am used to seeing them do. Jackson ran away for a couple of hours because he was mad; they seem to be hitting each other more than usual; they have gotten even more mouthy than normal; and they flat out don’t want to listen. When I asked little Katy if she and the kids weren’t listening because Karen and Dorian weren’t here, she shook her head yes. As the days have passed, they have become more manageable, but it all is still there. I feel like I have had to be a lot harsher than I care to be in addressing some of the issues that arise. Things are working out fine though. Things are gradually improving. God is good. He gives us a lesson to learn each day… or at least me.
Enjoy your time away Karen and Dorian. We will be glad to have you back home after you have rested.

WATER SHORTAGE
Things have been dry for so long the water supply has finally started to run out frequently. A water truck is called to bring in water and fill up the tanks. I have had a problem with having water since I got here. Most weeks I have been here, at least two to three days a week, I do not have water coming into my apartment, even when my tank is full. It isn’t unusual to find me wandering around the grounds calling for Denis to get the water back into my house. Now, with the water shortage it does no good to call for him. There is nothing he can do about it. The laundry alone uses up a tank of water a day. That doesn’t include showers, toilet, cooking, or cleaning. I pray several more tanks are put in place for the use of the main house. A couple more for the apartment in which I stay, and more important, the connected apartment for the house parent and new kids. When more kids come, the house parent will need to be able to fully function in the apartment.
I found out through a Facebook message today that a hole is being drilled for a well on the Casa property… today. That would explain the noise I have been hearing all morning long. Please pray for a continual supply of water for the kids all year long, no matter how dry the season gets.

GARDEN TEAM
The team from Stones River Church made it safely to Honduras. They came to do some ground breaking work for the garden being built for people of the dump to have a way out. Not too long before the team came, another group had built a house for the guard and his family. They will live on the property that was given to the project. I was thankful to be a part of starting a hole for the latrine for that family. It may not be much that I did, but it blessed me to know I played some part in this venture, even if it was in a small… very small way. The SRC team finished the latrine, planted seeds in toilet paper tubes at the place they were staying, raked pine needles, moved rocks, and many other things I don’t know about yet. From what I can tell, they have all made it home safely.
I do want to thank the team for a reason they know not of. God was using you in helping me learn how it is ok to not be afraid to experience my emotions; That I would not be cast aside or have what I felt, said, or did used against me later on; To not always feel I have to hold back what I am feeling and tuck it away in some place to be forgotten. Dave V. happened to be the shoulder I kept crying on. Thanks for showing me a glimpse of the Father heart of God, Dave. Others have done so in the past, but this was different with my eyes being opened to my new found truth. I hope I don’t come out of Honduras as an emotional basket case. But I do want to come out of Honduras with more of my heart on my sleeve. I will just have to trust God, friends, and family to protect it in its exposure.

RAINY SEASON STARTED
The rainy season has officially started. For a portion of the day and all through the night last week we had a strong dousing rain here in Santa Ana. The next morning I slept in late. After finally waking up enough to move, I stuck my bare toe into my slippers to pull them closer. I was very surprised to find my toe, slippers and floor soaked in water. My bed was an island unto itself. The water extended out two to three feet on all sides of the bed, and covered the floor underneath it. Two towels that I had lying on the floor for the purpose of absorbing the drips from the leak in the ceiling where soaked through. One towel on the floor in the extra bathroom, I use as a closet, was soaked through as well because I have a floor leak in there somewhere. I cleaned up the mess. The next time it rained through the night, I kept waking up because I was having dreams of sorts about the floor flooding again. It is strange, as Mark said, that I had no problems with flooding this last season, during the worst season of rain we have had here.
The rain starting has been a blessing however. The fires have gone on for so long the airplanes have been delayed by an excessive amount of smoke; Houses have been penetrated by the smell; and many people find themselves with difficulty in breathing. The rain has allowed reprieves.

CALLED MAMA
Cindy called me mama last week. This took me by surprise. She took my hand and we walked together in the yard. I don’t remember anything else that was said, or even how she said it. That’s how shocked I was in hearing it. This week she wrapped her arms over my shoulders and rested her head against mine while I read during the children’s nap time. I know she was supposed to be in bed herself, but she was silent and bothering no one. The other girls had finally fallen asleep so no fights would break out at the liberty I gave Cindy. I let her get away with not being in her bed. I don’t think she ever sleeps during the day anyway. At least not on the days I have sat in the girl’s room for nap time.

CONCLUSION
Thanks for taking the time to read this very lengthy letter. My prayers are with you all. I am grateful to God for you love, interest, and support.
May the love of God, the grace of Jesus, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

My fleece explained

I have just finished rereading my newsletters throughout this year. My sister and I were talking how several life changes have occurred during my stay here in Honduras. I can see some of them in my letters. Others run to areas so deep in my heart I never would have imagined them being touched before my death. They are precious changes. They are private.
I have been holding English lessons with one of the Honduran ladies that live here in Santa Ana. She asked how many more weeks it was before I leave for good. She doesn’t want me to leave. I have 5 weeks left. Time is too short. I already miss the kids and the new friends I have made here when I think of myself being in the States. How do I let myself mourn?
I have a few Stones River Church family members here this week. I have not got to spend the time with them I would like to have spent. That is ok. I will be back in middle TN soon and will be able to enjoy their company then.
Precious Dave V. said if he had known what my fleece was (gas tank for cooking) he would have sent me five. I have heard similar things from others as well, even advice on how I could still get one. I love you for that. I hope you will understand though, when I say that I truly believe God made the decision and answered my question clearly.
I had made my need for a tank known to those who work here. They tried to find me one. I had expressed to several, if not everyone, that I would try to have an answer by mid March on my decision to stay or go. The date didn’t feel right. After praying, I felt at peace with the end of March, up through the very last minute of the month. I received nothing that indicated that anyone felt one way or the other about me staying or leaving. I was torn my self. I didn’t know which I wanted more. I heard nothing from God, nothing from my heart. I only knew of that, which was the deepest desire in my heart…To do what God wanted me to do, and I needed Him to tell me. Not being able to hear from Him when I always had before was a scary thing to face. I didn’t know how to handle it. I heard an acquaintance mention laying down a fleece. I was immediately reminded of Gideon in Judges 6. I asked God what I could use as my fleece. I soon thought of the gas tank. A nearly impossible item to obtain here would not be impossible for God if He wanted me to stay.
I did not feel released to tell what my fleece was, only that I had one. I already knew several who would have gotten me one on their on will had I told them what it was. How quick that would have taken the decision away from God. He knows my needs and He knows my desires even more than I do. That is one of the things that make Him so wonderful.
Wednesday, March 30th. Dorian took me to the travel agent for my ticket to El Salvador. We stopped at a place we thought would sell a tank. They did not. Dorian returned to the car and said they told him where to by one. We returned to Casa. Why didn’t we go to the place to get the tank? Oh yeah. The supposedly worst teacher strike in their 32 years of protesting closed many streets and affected many businesses, causing brut force leading to a loss of a life. No wonder we didn’t go and get the tank. (Sorry. I thank a bit of irritation slipped out there). Lord, the only vehicle I know how to drive has been in the repair shop for what seems over a month. I don’t have any more chances to go to town myself and hunt for one.
Thursday, March 31st. Two new kids have arrived to Casa; Adonis who is 8 and his little sister Lupita who recently turned 6. She is adorable. I am tired of wringing my hands Lord. Marc asked me what I decided. I told him I would tell him tomorrow. He gave me a hug, said they loved me and I was family. After all I have lived there for a year. Will I have my tank by 11:59pm?
Friday, April 1st. It is really early. I am not stating if I am staying or going until I have checked outside my front door! Till I have asked Marc if He had found a tank!
He said “no”. I told him I was leaving Honduras. The gas tank was my fleece. I knew they had been looking. Karen asked me if I was staying. I choked out “no”. She said she was hoping I would stay. I had to step outside to rein back my tears at hearing what she just said.
Play time with the kids brought a chance for me to explain to Karen about my fleece. I told her what it was. Her face expression took my by surprise. She said when they were in town yesterday to pick up the new kids, Dorian said he knew where to buy a tank. He asked her if they should go now. She said “no” because they had the kids with them. They could get it another time.

If Karen, wanting me to stay, knew what my fleece was, I have no doubt she would have said let’s go get the tank. Had I told what my fleece was, I would have had over 10 tanks at my door before April 1st. I know that. I didn’t need to know what my friends and family wanted. You guys wouldn’t be supporting me if you didn’t want me here. I needed to know what I wanted. I can’t have both at the same time. More important, I needed to know what God wanted. He knows which would be best for all.

There are new acquaintances I have met through Honduras I may never see again. If it be so, I am sorry for that. If you ever come across this and read it, please know that I am thankful we crossed paths at least once in this life. Without you realizing it, God used you to make changes in those deepest recesses of my heart I never thought could be touched. I pray for a chance to tell you face to face. And if not, then I pray God stirs your heart in a way that leaves you in no doubt of your being one that was used.

There are new friends…I am sorry and can’t put you in my pocket and take you home with me.

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with your whole heart.” Jeremiah 29: 11-13 NIV

Staying or leaving?

I am sad. I knew I would be if I had to leave Honduras.
My ‘fleece’ was that if I got a gas tank for cooking I would stay. If not, I would go. I didn’t get the gas tank.
For some reason it is a very difficult item to get here. I have had friends trying to help me find one for a couple months. I trusted that God would provide this tank if He wanted me to stay here.
I will miss the kids very much. I want to cry every time I think about it. I will miss the new friends I have made. I will miss the more simple way of living.
I will miss everything about living here except for the excessive rain during the rainy season and the horrible traffic of Tegucigalpa.
I am looking forward to being apart of the wonderful things that will be occurring in the church body at home.
I will look forward to the great plans God has laid out for me.
I look forward to being with family and friends.

I will remember the words God echoed in my ears on Wednesday: “For a time”.

Thank you for your love and support.
I am really going to need you guys when I get back

Stacey

My long overdue newsletter

I sat down to write this newsletter for February and realized I am only a couple of days away from April!
Where did the time go!?! I won’t put you through the torture of a long newsletter. I will mention a few things that come to mind, and let it go at that. I am truly sorry for the length of silence.

February started out pretty well. I went to a women’s retreat with Karen and Terry. There were around 70 women who came. It was held for the women missionaries in Honduras to help them revive and reconnect with God, and to remember why they are here. A group of retired women missionaries from Ohio started it in October. It was to care for the caregivers. To love on, encourage, and build up the women missionaries. They would be able to connect with the ladies in a way that others would not be able to on account of experience. Though the group from Ohio was not able to make it this time, some missionaries living here worked hard to put it together. It is a beautiful idea and a wonderful ministry in itself.

The kids started back to school the second week in February. They were supposed to start the first week. They average 1-2 days of school a week now due a teacher’s strike that has lasted many years. Their school day will be sometime between 2 – 4 hours long. This topic is a soapbox topic so; I won’t say anything more here. However, if you are interested in what is going on with the schools, you can take a look at this link I got from Karen’s blog: http://lagringasblogicito.blogspot.com/2011/03/no-school-strikes-standoffs-and-now.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FvZZx+%28La+Gringa%27s+Blogicito%29

A new law has passed for visitors to Honduras that is a blessing. We had a visa for 90 days but had to leave the country for 3 days before returning again. We were not allowed to go to a neighboring country and return. It had to be somewhere further away. Now we are allowed to leave to a neighboring country and be gone for 48 hours before we can return. This is good news. I will be looking to leave for El Salvador for this time frame in the next week or two. My visa ends April 17. I will not be able to renew my stay for 30 days two times in a row. I would have to do that because I leave for the U.S. 7 days after the 30 days would be over. That was bad planning on my part. I was never any good with math. Please pray for safety and an uneventful trip.

I have not felt one way or another about staying in Honduras or leaving for the states. This is such a rare thing to not know which direction I am supposed to take. Above all I want to do what God wants me to do. I have laid down a ‘fleece’ before God and will trust Him to provide me with the answer if I don’t feel the direction sooner. I will tell everyone after March 31st 11:59pm which path I will walk. I know there are several who want to know exactly what my ‘fleece’ is. I will tell it after the date mentioned above.
I feel like I am casting lots or flipping coins and calling heads or tails. I really don’t like this position of not knowing.

I will get to see a few friends, old and new, this April. I am looking forward to their visit. I pray for their safe travels as well.

I had talked to my sister briefly on Saturday evening at bedtime. I told her of the very hard day the 3 year old Josue had because of obstinacy and testing. He had to go to bed early and without dinner. She asked me if I got to read him to sleep. I told her no. Only 2 adults were looking after the kids and there are too many kids to allow that preferential treatment. Last night I got to put the boys to bed. Not something I get to do too often. Brayan asked me to read to them as they went to sleep. I got to read the first 6 chapters of Luke (in English) for them before all but one were asleep. What a precious time.

My love and prayers go out to you all. Thanks for being a part of allowing me to be here. I am eternally grateful. May the love of God, the grace of Jesus, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
Stacey

Feb 22, 2011

I recently posted on my Facebook status: (from Romans 2:4) It is the goodness of God that leads us to repentance. So if I let God’s goodness work in me through His Holy Spirit unto others, will others be lead to repentance?

I wanted to throw the question out there to be meditated upon and possibly applied to the reader’s life. Words to a song have been rolling over in my head for a long time now, and it says: Your kindness Lord leads us to repentance. Your favor Lord is our desire. Your beauty Lord makes us stand in silence, for your love is better than life.

I have asked the Holy Spirit to work that kindness, or goodness, through me towards the kids. I can’t talk to the kids like I would want to, but I try and show them grace, and love, and kindness. I am on the last stretch of a one year commitment to Casa de Esperanza and God has blessed me in allowing me to see a difference in the way the kids respond to me.
While I was learning to be around kids by; studying the ones who blazed the trail before me (especially Karen), studying the kids, watching them, learning how to treat them, and work with them on the first two stretches of being here (and I haven’t stopped), there was a lot of rubbing each other the wrong way. The kids seemed angry with me most of the time. I felt irritated and very confused by them. Did I put ‘very’ in there? Cause I really mean Very! My responses to their behavior have evolved from, what I felt to be, harsh to grace and kindness. If I was on the outside looking in at this situation I might be able to word this more accurately. But, seeing how I am on the inside looking out, I pray you will forgive me for sharing only my perspective.
Since this gradual change, I have felt the kids; hugs and tugs, shared laughs and jokes, tickles and kisses, vying for my attention to watch them play and see what they can do. They listen and obey me a little more and respond more positively than they did before.
When the kids misbehave after having been forewarned of the consequence to come if they disobey, Karen and I ask each other the question; Are they just testing their boundaries or do they really not care? We may never learn the answer to that question but…
I have seen repentant hearts, altered behavior, and more attempts to understand. The process may move as slow as molasses but, things are moving forward.
I also have witnessed love and kindness pour out of Karen onto these kids, and I see how they love her and respond to her.
So to answer my own question above, I would have to say… I have a lot to learn. It is not by my might or power, but by the Spirit of God. By experience I would have to say this is mostly true if the person doesn’t willfully turn his heart cold towards God and His goodness. John 8 is brought to mind. It addresses judgement upon another. A woman was caught in adultery and the party surrounding her was ready to cast their stones at her until the grace of God’s words were spoken. Hearts were convicted by each persons conscience and everyone left without throwing the stones at her. Jesus then showed God’s goodness to the woman, whom I believe ran away with a repentant heart.

I write this because too often I see the opposite of kindness and goodness shared among friends, family, enemies, believers and non believers, those who go to church and those who don’t. Whether in Honduras or Russia, Mexico or Iraq, or the United States of America, I see the opposite of kindness and goodness running rampant. It hurts me especially when I see it from those who claim Christ, or if I do it myself. We want to preach the word, but do we want to live the word? After all, we are a written message of Christ, and we will be read by all men. What are men reading?

6 year old Maryuri was throwing rocks at Reina yesterday and calling her names. She apologized to Reina against her will but then she had to pray with her before they could part ways. Maryuri refused to pray with her. When Karen asked why she wouldn’t pray with Reina she answered “Because, I am satan’s child”. She wasn’t given the option to leave Reina and had to stay with her until she prayed. A short time passed. She hung her head, took Reina’s hands and prayed apologies and asked God to help her not throw rocks at Reina and call her names. She then voluntarily hugged Reina and had a smile on her face. They ran off together to play.

The power has been out since 8:30 this morning. I am sitting outside watching some of the kids in their play time.
Sisi and Reina are playing in the hammock. Their continuous giggles sound like a cluster of doves cooing.
Often, from inside my room, I will hear the girls giggling over something. It always makes me want to feed the birds.
Jose is learning how to lasso the toy carousel horse. He is sitting on one while capturing the other. He made his first around the neck lasso and his face lit up. When I first made the slip knot at the end of his rope, his expression was full of imagination.
The power just came on about 4:15. Yeahhhhh!
Maryuri is painting her face with chalk;
Anna is trying to figure out how to use Maryuri’s new, now broken etch-a-sketch.
Jackson is trying to construct some form of house in a tree;
Doris and Fernando have made a sort of tunnel over the little bridge by my house using the trampoline tubes that were used for the net.
And, Josue is looking for tiny little seashells and bringing them to me for safe keeping.
I think I have one of the best jobs in the world.

Stacey

Play Time

December and January, I enjoyed visiting with family and friends. It had been a difficult several months for me before my return home. While home, I sought after a lot of alone time to recuperate spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I was also loved on by family and friends in the ways they show their love. I am so blessed to have so many people who love me and take the time to show me. By the last few days of my stay I was visiting friends and ready to rejoin the human race. I am very sorry I didn’t get to visit with everyone I wanted to. Please forgive me for not getting to you. I feel fully revived spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

My return to Honduras was warm (literally and figuratively) and welcoming. The kids made me feel so good. They seem to have done some maturing and growing over their winter school break (Equal to the U.S. kid’s summer school break). Most of them are about the same age. They seem to be playing well together for the most part. Their reactions to punishment or, even to each other do not seem to be as frequent as they were. I don’t know if that is just my perception or if it is really true.

Nohemy continues to call me mama, more frequently now. She and Rosy are the only two who do so. Rosy only because she is trying to get my attention and can say only two words, ‘no’ and ‘mama’.

Cindy sat in my lap for the first time today. I don’t know if it was because I had a fruit snack and she really wanted one or if she is just getting more comfortable with me. Either way, it was nice for the short time it lasted.

Josue the soon to be 3 year old, seems to have a foot fetish. He is expressing jealousy at the moment of handwriting this. Antonio (Fito) is sitting in a chair between Karen’s knees while she is sitting on the edge of the trampoline. He started to rub Karen’s feet and Josue started yelling at him expressing that Karen’s feet belonged to him. He was ready to hit Antonio over it.

 I figured I would share a few play time favorites of the kids with you for January.

 The kids recently made a tree swing out of rope they found and cardboard seat. They are being good about sharing it.

For several days a group of kids have been spending their playtime looking for grasshoppers. They love finding them. Reina will try and set up a habitat for them using broken toys, grass, rock, and leaves. Then, she proceeds to pet them to death literally. She gets sad when they die, but doesn’t understand she is the cause.

They had about 8 hoola hoops when I returned from the states in January. Four of them are known to be stuck high in the trees, 2 or 3 are broken in pieces and are used as various imaginative things. The remaining 1 or 2 are no longer round. The only round one is stuck in a tree. However, at the rate the hoola hoops keep going up into the trees, we may have to rename the Honduran apple tree to something more fitting. It is sad because Daniela seemed to love playing with the undistorted hoop.

The hoops were used in contests, and as decorations in the lower branches of the trees. Also, they loved the challenge of throwing them in the trees to be faced with the challenge of climbing the tree to get them out.

There is a hammock belonging to a man who frequents Honduras. It is very expensive, dirty, and is a favorite toy for the kids. They swing, climb, twirl, and bind themselves in the contraption only to come out looking happy and as if a big powder puff puffed them head to toe with dirt.

They love the trampoline but tend to do something against the rules of using it. The consequence is to go a week or more without the privilege, depending on the offense. Right now over half of the kids are without the privilege.

The rollerblades are also a favorite, but they fight over the same 3 pair out of the 8 pairs they have. Right now the blades are a passed fad only to return again in a couple weeks.

I think I am going to lobby for a tether ball. I don’t like to play it personally, but I think the kids would love it. They spend so much time outside, any outdoor games or game stations really help.

The bikes are dead. They love them, but can’t ride them anymore. With some money donated specifically for their recreation, they will receive either repaired or new bikes. This is currently a work in progress, and the best route to take is in the discussion process.

 Well, I hope you enjoyed hearing about some of the kids play time. I have some short videos to go with this newsletter. I will attempt to get them posted at some point in time.  I think I am going to need instruction on that endeavor before it can be completed.

 Prayer request.

Well, I have a decision to be made and I am asking God to help me know in every part of me by mid March if I should stay or go at the end of May when my year is up: Should I stay, go somewhere else, or go home to the states. I want to ask you to be in prayer about this with me. If you feel compelled to share what you hear from the Lord on this, please, do so. All things expressed will be considered as well as what God lays on my heart. I will need continued support of all kinds if I stay. I will also, finally, take language classes.

Also, I miss you guys. Letters to me are few and far between as to how you are doing. I am one to speak huh!? I rank up there at the top for worst letter writer. If you are thinking about me and have time to write to me, I would love it. It would be very encouraging to me. I also will try to do better in this department. I won’t expect anything more than what I do myself, but I thought I would at least throw that out there.

 Thanks for your love, time, and support.

Stacey Hooper

Philippians 1:3 “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.”

My heart in a letter

(Name of country here) rocked me. Jesus rocked me. I’ve never felt so alive in my life.

It all started with a stirring to do something “bigger” than what I am doing now… so I decided to stop denying it (stop being scared) and seek what God wanted me to do next. And (Name of country here) was it. He opened every door and window there was to open to get me there.

Since my return to the states, there isn’t a second of a day that goes by where (Name of country here) and the people living there aren’t on my mind. I am in love with the country and the people in it. When I came back to the States I was literally heart broken. I did NOT want to be back here. I felt alive there, I felt closer to God, I felt like I was doing something in life that God was calling me to do. So, ever since being back to the states I’ve been thinking… ‘When do I go back’!? I feel like God has put (Name of country here) on my heart, for me to live there and serve Him there.
I have been “separated from my world” so it’s hard for even my close friends to realize what I am going through. I’ve felt pretty alone in all this (besides council from a family member or two).

I’m trying to figure out what God wants me to do. I’m waiting for the next step. I’m waiting for the green light. I am waiting on the wind. I know that my heart desires (Name of country here), but is it really what GOD wants for me!? I have continued to pray to hear from God, and he has opened my eyes to many things along the way, but not to my next path….not yet.

Whohohohooooo… wait a minute…STOP! (sound effect is a record needle being dragged across a record as it is being removed).

Did I write that or was that someone else’s writing?

The above are excerpts from a letter a friend wrote me. She wanted my advice. She echoed my heart’s cry from times past. Every trip I ever went on. The only thing that changed was the name of the country. Don’t get me wrong. I am not making light of her letter in any way. I was just thinking that maybe I should share my response to this letter. If we both felt the same, and I have heard other people speak the same to me, then, why not share my experience for those who are struggling and keeping silent.

My response begins here:

 Your words echo many heart cries I have experienced over the years. Some are reoccurring, forcing me to reevaluate my relationship with God. Others are precious memories that forced me to grow deeper into God. Why don’t you sit down with me, have a cup of coffee and your Bible on hand (You might want to copy and paste this letter onto a word document so you don’t have to be online to read it all). I want to share some of my life lessons with you that pertain to what you wrote me. (Translated: This is going to be long) My words are lengthy enough. The scriptures are to flesh out what I was saying and are as much apart of the letter. Some places I only type a few words but I hope you will read the verses whole because they complete my meaning.

One of my favorite things to watch is the movement of God in a person’s life. What a blessing to get to see the beginning stirrings of the heart in a lover of Jesus. My prayer, when I see it happen, is that the person will not resist, but embrace Him and His movement. For the Lord said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you. So we (you) may boldly say, the Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (Heb 13:5, 6) Also read Deuteronomy 31:6-8, Joshua 1:5, 1 Samuel 12:22 here. God has laid out a plan for our life that will be at times scary, exciting, difficult, but more rewarding than we can imagine if you learn to press into Jesus along every step. Read Jeremiah 29:11-14 and Proverbs 25:2 here. He brings life (John 10:10) to those who are living in Him and doing what He asked. Thus your “feeling alive”.

Your ‘calling’ or, as God puts it, ‘your commandment’ is Mark 12: 29-31, Matt 28:18-20, and He will equip you with what you need when you need it Mark16:15-18. You always have a green light on these. It is obvious in your letter that you recognize God’s voice. “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” v.27. Read John 10: 1-18, 26-30. While you were in your beloved country, the path was cleared for you to work in your calling and healing was allowed to occur in your spirit man. Read Hebrew 12:12, 13. Proverbs 15:21 in the KJV says: “Folly is joy to him that is void of wisdom; but a man of understanding makes straight his going.” At home in the states, there are too many distractions we allow in our hearts and minds. There are too many people who “will not come to Jesus that they may have life” (John 5:40). Even those who claim Jesus don’t come to Him in the way He describes. They live an impure and defiled religion. These people will not understand what you have experienced unless they come to a pure and undefiled religion. Read James 1:27 here. They have not allowed their minds to be transformed (Romans 12:1, 2) and will not understand until they no longer walk in conformity, but in transformation. You are separate because you have allowed pure and undefiled religion into your walk. You have allowed transformation in the renewing of your mind. You are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18). You are setting your mind on things above (Colossians 3:2, 3). The Lord has set you apart (Psalms 4:3).

Since 1993 I have felt a stirring to serve God long term on foreign soil. My first trip was in 1994. Since then I have served short term in 6 trips to 4 different foreign countries, and the rest of the time I’ve lived in the United States (5 different states). I always wondered, and asked God for years, why I was not allowed to live in any of these foreign places, and, live with these people I had grown to love. All I believed I could do for the next 15 years was “wait for the Lord” (Psalms 130:6) “be strong” (Deuteronomy 11:8, 31:6), and to “seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33, 34).

When I returned from my trips I felt overwhelmed by the experience. I was in love with the country and people. My heart broke every time I left. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think of my new friends in their country and what we experienced; and what could be. I still frequently think of them. An image, a sound, a smell, will throw me back to a time and place that became so dear to my heart. But it wasn’t until my 4th trip in 2003 that I really learned that it wasn’t so much the country and the people as it was experiencing Jesus and watching the way He moves in the places and people. This freed me to truly hear where He wanted me, when He wanted me there, and who He wanted me to encounter while there. I felt alive working in a community (team) of people with the same common visions and goals as mine. We became a part of the body of Christ “being fitted together” “being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:19-22).

I learned if you can’t be a missionary where you are, how will you be a missionary when He sends you somewhere else? “Every Believer is a missionary. Every non-believers heart is a mission field.” (This was a plaque on a wall in one of the offices in the Bible building at ACU). I learned I was always hanging onto certain things to fulfill the lusts of the flesh. I still do to a certain extent. When I recognized what I was holding onto, Jim Elliot’s words rang in my ears: “That man is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” I had to ask myself some serious questions about the spirit vs. the flesh. Meditate on Philippians 4:8, 9. God would also remind me to seek first His kingdom and righteousness. I’ve learned to find a group of believers with the same common visions and goals as mine where I live, so I could be encouraged and edified as well as encourage and edify. Often, this meant going to different churches till I found someone I connected with, and that usually brought about a few more people. Some of these people would become my safe people who helped me in my walk and growth in the Lord all along the way.

Living in Honduras, I find I spend 99% of my time spiritually alone. This is difficult for me. I seem to walk on a different spiritual plan than most others. I can’t find my safe people here. I am sure it has something to do with the language barrier. I am forced to depend on Jesus to be my all in all; to study Him continually in greater depth, and to let Him be my Husband (Isaiah 54:5). God has done, and is doing now, a great work in me. His timing is perfect. “Your time is covered. He is conducting your time like a maestro conducting an orchestra.” That was a word I got from God back in May. How intimate. How true it has been.

I am serving long term on foreign soil for the first time, but there may be something else, and this may only last a year. Knowing this does not break my heart. I am excited to see what may happen next. In the mean time I will continue to put down the fleshly things I continue to hold onto; to fully empty my hands so that I can grab and hold on to God. I too, feel I am meant for something special; for something so much more than what I have experienced.

Lord, ready your people so we don’t fail you when the time to rise up comes along. Teach us to be faithful in the little things.

It’s the little things that matter the most. Touch that person who is sick and weary in the hospital. Ask what his name is. Tell him God bless you in Jesus. Sit down with that girl and read a book with her. Give that difficult child a hug and a tickle at random. Buy 2 meals at the restaurant and give the second one to the homeless man sitting by the dumpster. Better yet, give him both. Talk to that person crying on the steps of wherever. Pray over the person you are working with. Drive that student to her school. Give someone gas money. Listen to that prompting to buy paper cups and a 3 liter Coke to take to a few hard workers, and do it. None of these involve string attachments, but they do involve lifetime influence. And always let the name of God and Jesus be with praise on your lips. Start being a missionary where you are, wherever that may be.

I hope something in what I’ve learned helps you and this letter is not in vain. In the silence until you hear ‘go’, just “be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

The sister who wrote me the letter starting this note had 3 worldly obstacles to overcome: 1)To quit her job and give enough time for a replacement. 2)To break an apartment lease or wait for someone to come along and sublease. 3)To raise enough support since there would be no income.

 Philippians 4:19, 20

When she made her decision to ‘GO’ it was August. She ‘WENT’ in October, with God supplying her needs.

Hahahahahaha!  My sister and I serve the One True God.  Tell me…what god do you serve?

I have been blessed with brothers and sisters who were faithful in little things towards me. My life has been eternally influenced because of their faithfulness. Many of them got me through my 15 years of waiting. A few of them have gotten me to Honduras and are keeping me there. Not only am I eternally influenced because of their faithfulness, but others become eternally influenced because of their faithfulness. How beautiful, to influence many with one, small, faithful act of obedience to the prompting of the Spirit of God in your heart: The very same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead. That one, small, faithful act of obedience allowed the Spirit to raise many from the dead.

 Awwwwwww…go on…give Him praise.

December Prt 2: Kids at Play in Photos

Casa de Esperanza employee Pamela, Maryuri and I posing.

Where is Jackson? Oh! He is playing Jack in the Box!

Jackson saving the day.

Josue, Maryuri, & Nohemy playing under the trampoline. Rosy was playing hairstylist.

Josue just knows all those balls are going to fit in that little canister.

The guys are eating sugar cane with Denis, the grounds keeper.

Anita is playing ‘fake out’ for attention. She said her brother pushed her over. Her brother is in the yellow shirt. Notice the distance? Notice the lack of concern with Rosy?

Yes, she really is having her hair ironed by an iron, while reading a book. Pamela has a hair straightener but the ladies who do her hair don’t want to use it.

Josue, I don’t really know what that pose was about, but it makes me think he has something that feel s gross in his pants. It makes for a cute picture though.

Cindy dreaming of being a princess while swinging on a hard cloud.

They’ve been slept under the rug! Hahaha! They were playing sleep time and used the rug as their cover.

In this scene we have Cindy scoping out the situation. What she sees is Jose dreaming of whatever he dreams of, Sisi consoling Reina who is crying for whatever reason, and Jackson is imagining pouncing on something or someone.

Anita and Marc enjoying each others company.

Reina sneaking up Skillet.

Anita is playing on her jungle gym while Doris looks on.

Jackson sneaking fruit from the trees. No telling how much was eaten by the time I got this picture.

Josue, Sisi, Katy, and Maryrui in the playhouse.

Rosy being caught hiding oranges in her shirt. Oranges picked illegally.

Fernando doing school work.

Ready – Set – Go!

Pile up!

Girls hanging out.

Thanksgiving meal.

Thanksgiving meal belly. How many plates was that Maryuri?

Look no hands!

Boys spending time with Karen. It made for a loverly picture so I asked them to stay till I got my camera

Hammock fun!

Ana and Cindy are best buds for this hour.

Adult size blades on a very petite 7yr old. The child is fearless. Nohemy is struggling to maneuver and Jackson is hamming it up.

Uh Oh! Look who’s in troublllllllleee! You guys better apologize if you want to separate.

Josue learning how to twirl on the swing.

Blade line! Hang on guys!

My funny faces.

Math tables, balloon, and curiosity.

Baby dolls + play food = Playing well together

December Prt 1: Meet the Kids in Photos

Anita (Ana)

Brayan

Sassy Cindy

Daniela

Darling Doris

Fernando

Antonio (Fitto)

Imaginative Jackson

Antonio (Jose)

Josue

Fearless Katy

Maryuri (Pronounced Marjory)

Nohemy (pronounced NoAmiee)

Precious Pamela

Reina

Rosy

Sensitive Sisi